March medical madness
My dad keeps a paper calendar on the refrigerator hanging on a magnetic hook and lists birthdays and his medical appointments on it so he can remember what's coming up. This month has my name on it several times.
The job search has been terrible. No better than in Columbus. I wasn't really expecting improvement since I'm no longer in a major metropolitan area, but it's still discouraging. So I did the ACA thing by the due date and wound up on state Medicaid again.
It took a little time to get things sorted because I usually don't have internet access (I get enough signal to update Facebook, and then only sometimes, but even there my newsfeed always falls behind) and so many things have to be set up or updated online now. But I got a primary care provider and set an appointment near the end of February.
By the time I did that I was pretty sure I was in for a diagnosis of diabetes. I haven't been feeling great for months and it got worse after I moved here because my dad's the one who buys groceries right now, and his diet is terrible and he justifies it by just not eating a lot of it. He's also on about a bazillion meds and is in his seventies and so he gets away with all that. I was on no meds and still need the energy to get around and do things and I wouldn't have coped well eating as little and as seldom as he does. After one episode involving a spaghetti supper and another one with canned chicken noodle soup, I checked my sugar and it's gone horrific by my usual standards. Over 200 mg/dl after meals, and in the 170s fasting. It's not where type 2s usually catch themselves diabetic -- usually they are much worse off by the time they find out -- but it's still dangerous.
At my new-patient appointment I asked my nurse practitioner if she'd do a hemoglobin A1C and she said Medicaid doesn't pay for screening A1C(???), but if my fasting sugar was high enough it would trigger a diagnostic.
That's exactly what happened. I didn't hear what my fasting sugar was, but my A1C was more than seven and I think it's supposed to be under 5. NP offered a choice of metformin or else one of those fad injectables everyone's using for type 2 diabetes and weight loss now. I have seen too many diabetes meds turn out to be dangerous, except metformin; even insulin is often inappropriately prescribed in type twos. So I went for the metformin.
NP also referred me to get a colonoscopy and a mammogram, both scheduled this month (March). I got the mammogram first. A few days later, they contacted me to schedule a repeat of my right breast at the hospital in Crowley. Turned out they had a schedule slot later on the same day as my colonoscopy consult, also in Crowley.
That was Monday. I went to the consult, which was at 9:30am and a twenty-five-minute drive in one direction, and they scheduled me for the Roto-Rooter next Tuesday. (This after they checked my blood pressure on the lower arm when they were checking vitals. Anyone ever heard of this? It hurts. Do not recommend.) Then I went to McDonald's afterwards for a simple meal with coffee because I'd had nothing to eat what with the Daylight Savings time adjustment and my generally not being a morning person. While I was at McDonald's I got a phone call from the Crowley hospital about getting my preadmission for the colonoscopy done. So at last count that's three appointments in one day. Two at the hospital.
Went and got that done and it involved an EKG, so that was entertaining. I will say I'm a little relieved because I've had random heart palpitations for a while and I was starting to wonder what the fuck was going on, but the EKG apparently came out okay. (It's just something they do on preadmits where sedation or anesthesia is involved.)
Then I went and got the repeat mammo.
It went straight to the reading physician. She still couldn't quite suss out the results.
So I got ANOTHER mammo, this time with my boob rolled in two different directions. Roll one way, scan, roll the other way, scan again.
Okay, still no joy. Time for an ultrasound. Did you know a breast ultrasound is not any more fun than a mammogram is? It's just Not Fun in a different dimension.
Got done with all that and had the possibility hanging over my head that Reading Physician was going to come in and do another ultrasound herself, but apparently she felt the existing one was clear enough to see better.
It didn't clear me, though. I now have to get a needle biopsy. Two sites in the same tit. Two Mondays from now.
So let's see: (1) Repeat visit at NP to get lab results; (2) mammogram; (3) colonoscopy consult; (4) preadmit appointment; (5) repeat mammogram; (6) boob ultrasound [technically a separate appointment]; (7) colonoscopy; (8) biopsy.
ALL IN FUCKING MARCH
...I can't even call it catching up except possibly the mammogram; experts keep going back and forth on what age is good to start them and I thought, fuck it, I will wait til age fifty. I've not even tried getting in with a GYN yet, and that would be catching up; my last visit with one of those was 2012, I think. I'm just not used to seeing the insides of medical facilities this often. I haven't worked in medical records since 1997.
I'm not worrying about the biopsy until there is something to worry about. Far as I'm aware we really don't get breast cancer in my mother's family, and I've had no bothersome symptoms that I can recall. They won't even knock me out for it. I have to say I'm not thrilled at the prospect of being stabbed by a long needle, but I just won't look at it while they're doing it. Whatever.
I'm not looking forward to the colonoscopy prep next week, though. I've had a prep like that before when I was a teenager recovering from a kidney infection and was due to get a followup scan. Colon cleanout is less complicated than it used to be, but I'm positive it will still be gross.
At least I like Jello and broth. I'll cope.
P.S. If you had any faith in humanity left to lose, Louisiana has apparently passed a law making it a felony to abuse, harass, or assault medical staff. Apparently the problem has been pervasive enough that every medical facility and pharmacy (yep, pharmaceutical staff included) I have visited since I moved down here has posted warning signs to that effect.
And we call ourselves the rational species.