If anything whatsoever gave me a better understanding of what trans people claim they are going through -- and some of them probably are going through it, though I suspect some of them use "gender dysphoria" as a convenient cover story for a fetish -- it's having become twice as heavy as I was at age eighteen.
Part of the Forever Diet is having “fat days” and “good days”. Fat days are just basically waking up and “feeling fat” and the whole day is spent with avoiding mirrors and windows that reflect and adjusting the waistband of the too tight for no reason article of clothing you put on that morning.
Ironically fat days are spent feeling like a “loser” when the English language is all backwards because the last thing you are on a fat day is a loser.
Regular size people have bad hair days. So do Forever Diet people of course, with lots of days being a fat day and a bad hair day rolled together which creates the basic “ugly day” which is spent trying to find a rock that’s big enough to crawl under. A good day can abruptly change to a fat day when you pass that plate glass window that makes you want to throw the rock at it and shatter your reflection forever, which gets us right back where we started, on the Forever Diet, even knowing tomorrow will be a “fresh start”.
I really think you are onto something with comparing this to gender dysphoria, and the wrong body feeling, especially the pain. The forever psychic pain.
And what makes it so upsetting is that if you are not looking at yourself, you feel like you are the same person you were before you got fat. It's a mindfuck.
Part of the Forever Diet is having “fat days” and “good days”. Fat days are just basically waking up and “feeling fat” and the whole day is spent with avoiding mirrors and windows that reflect and adjusting the waistband of the too tight for no reason article of clothing you put on that morning.
Ironically fat days are spent feeling like a “loser” when the English language is all backwards because the last thing you are on a fat day is a loser.
Regular size people have bad hair days. So do Forever Diet people of course, with lots of days being a fat day and a bad hair day rolled together which creates the basic “ugly day” which is spent trying to find a rock that’s big enough to crawl under. A good day can abruptly change to a fat day when you pass that plate glass window that makes you want to throw the rock at it and shatter your reflection forever, which gets us right back where we started, on the Forever Diet, even knowing tomorrow will be a “fresh start”.
I really think you are onto something with comparing this to gender dysphoria, and the wrong body feeling, especially the pain. The forever psychic pain.
And what makes it so upsetting is that if you are not looking at yourself, you feel like you are the same person you were before you got fat. It's a mindfuck.