I was a single mom at age 15, with zero support from the father, the days long before welfare and laws to gain support from the father. As soon as I turned 16,I went to work, that meant leaving my child in the care of my father and younger sister, while I stayed in residence at the hospital where I worked. I did not own a car , neither did my father. I was only able to go home to visit my daughter on my days off. Those were the days before a 40 hour week, the days before a union contract to protect workers or any of the amazingly working protection we realize today.After working for 2 years , through the good grace and help from my Dr. I was able to leave the small town , return to school and eventually train as a nurse. That though was not easy and it meant in order to do so, I was only able to recieved enough for school and room and board. That did not include any support to bring my child with me. My child had to stay with my father while I completed my education and training. Five years later I-was able to bring my child to live with me and I secured job in nursing. I vowed I would never rely nor could I rely on anyone to provide for me. I have always worked full time to support myself and provide a loving home for my children. Even after a marrying, I made the same decision. I prefer to earn and have my own money/ equal partnership. I refuse to ask anyone for money to get what I want or need. I believe every mothers gets to make a decision on whether she works at home to tend her children or works outside the home and gains the daycare required. Either way most moms I know work hard and are committed to do the best job possible I either circumstance
Yeah, I'm not gonna make it illegal to choose to be an unemployed homemaker, but I am certainly never going to shut up about how dangerous it is. I've got half a mind to agitate for laws requiring men who want a stay-at-home wife to pay her wages and benefits. If he can't afford it, either he can stay single or he can accept his wife having a job.
yup, all of that... my son is 32 now, and choosing to blame me for everything... my current feeling is that if the government is essentially forcing women to have kids, because of restrictions on birth control or abortion, and it's risky to depend on a man financially, IF you can even find one with the income needed to support a family... the job of mother needs to come with a paycheck. we are, after all, creating the next generation of taxpayers. and the solution previously thought of (affordable childcare) has created a generation of anxious, depressed, over medicated kids. there's just no adequate substitute for a primary caregiver who actually loves the child. and then, love isn't enough when financial insecurity causes chaos. turns out I busted my ass for decades providing everything my son needed (but doing it imperfectly) so now he hates me and wants me dead and "at least Dad has a house!"
so now that I've wrecked my body with years of stress and I'm disabled, what now? was it all for nothing?
I was a single mom at age 15, with zero support from the father, the days long before welfare and laws to gain support from the father. As soon as I turned 16,I went to work, that meant leaving my child in the care of my father and younger sister, while I stayed in residence at the hospital where I worked. I did not own a car , neither did my father. I was only able to go home to visit my daughter on my days off. Those were the days before a 40 hour week, the days before a union contract to protect workers or any of the amazingly working protection we realize today.After working for 2 years , through the good grace and help from my Dr. I was able to leave the small town , return to school and eventually train as a nurse. That though was not easy and it meant in order to do so, I was only able to recieved enough for school and room and board. That did not include any support to bring my child with me. My child had to stay with my father while I completed my education and training. Five years later I-was able to bring my child to live with me and I secured job in nursing. I vowed I would never rely nor could I rely on anyone to provide for me. I have always worked full time to support myself and provide a loving home for my children. Even after a marrying, I made the same decision. I prefer to earn and have my own money/ equal partnership. I refuse to ask anyone for money to get what I want or need. I believe every mothers gets to make a decision on whether she works at home to tend her children or works outside the home and gains the daycare required. Either way most moms I know work hard and are committed to do the best job possible I either circumstance
Yeah, I'm not gonna make it illegal to choose to be an unemployed homemaker, but I am certainly never going to shut up about how dangerous it is. I've got half a mind to agitate for laws requiring men who want a stay-at-home wife to pay her wages and benefits. If he can't afford it, either he can stay single or he can accept his wife having a job.
yup, all of that... my son is 32 now, and choosing to blame me for everything... my current feeling is that if the government is essentially forcing women to have kids, because of restrictions on birth control or abortion, and it's risky to depend on a man financially, IF you can even find one with the income needed to support a family... the job of mother needs to come with a paycheck. we are, after all, creating the next generation of taxpayers. and the solution previously thought of (affordable childcare) has created a generation of anxious, depressed, over medicated kids. there's just no adequate substitute for a primary caregiver who actually loves the child. and then, love isn't enough when financial insecurity causes chaos. turns out I busted my ass for decades providing everything my son needed (but doing it imperfectly) so now he hates me and wants me dead and "at least Dad has a house!"
so now that I've wrecked my body with years of stress and I'm disabled, what now? was it all for nothing?